I'm Ready

The butterflies have been fluttering all day, anticipating tomorrow’s first healing sessions.  I am as prepared as I can be.  I’ve talked to my friend that has completed her sessions and reread the material I was given.  Hair is freshly twisted, nails buffed, breakfast made, clothing selected, bag packed with diversions and a cooler with snacks.

I am scheduled at 10:35 for chemo and 2pm for radiation.  It sounds like a very long day so I’ve planned ways to spend the time.  The Kindle is going, my life saver with Scrabble, Pandora and books.  I’m writing friends, so there are cards and stamps.

I’m a tea drinker, so there’s blueberry, acai green tea.  I am taking a few peanut butter crackers with ginger fig preserves. In the cooler is yogurt and croissants with hummus and tomatoes.

My moral support is lined up.  My husband Ron/Allen is driving me and my sister is giving him a break at noon.  With me goes all the prayers and good vibrations from family and friends. 

I’m ready.

Every Day, In Every Way

“Every day and in every way, I’m getting better and better.”  My younger sister called our mom every day with this greeting after mom’s valve replacement surgery.  Now it’s my turn, she now calls me with the same greeting.  Most mornings, we recite it together.  When her number appears on the caller ID, I know the drill.'

This morning, I was sitting on a chair in the bathroom.  Looking at the counter, there are over the counter pain pills, heavy duty prescription pain pills, gauze pads and antiseptic cleanser. To counter balance those, I also have a peony candle which I light every morning.  There’s peach shower gel and peach body spray.  I sit, feeling blah, I don’t feel really bad and I don’t feel really good.  It’s 7:30 and I think about going back to bed.

Thanksgiving is over, we’ve eaten most of the leftovers, and folks have returned home. Friday, I marveled at the cars at the Milledgeville Mall. Allen/Ron and I picked up a few groceries, visited a friend in a nursing home.  I worked on the Sunday storytelling at Allen’s Market. (Sunday, 2pm, Gathering and Breaking Bread Together.)

  

This Sat. morning, I feel stuck. The phone rings, I see the caller ID and know the drill, “Every day and in every way, I’m getting better and better.”  It is true, I am getting better, I now feel better and it’s enough for me to finish the morning toiletries, get dressed and put on earrings.

While putting on the earrings, I remember what my oldest twin son said when he was about five, he’s now 33.  “All a woman needs to be beautiful is earrings, perfume and lipstick.”     

Today, I wore earrings and perfume.  I’m going to remember to add the lipstick.

Just Jeanette

Thanksgiving Day and so much for which to be thankful.  Two meals, lunch and dinner, lunch with my husband’s family and dinner with my sisters and brother.  One of the best I’ve had in a long time, especially spending it with my family.  For the first time in decades, we are all living in Georgia, three of us in Milledgeville.

Today was special, I’m grateful to be alive and moving towards complete healing.  It was also special because today I was “just Jeanette.”  I was hugged tight, helped arrange food on the dinner table and put away the leftovers. This wasn’t pretending or avoiding reality.  It was a day to focus on being together, sharing our love for each other and that was the most healing of all.