Humility

The last radiation healing was Friday. Yeah! I have a three-week hiatus from chemo therapy healing.  Yeah!   It’s all good.  A weekend of sleep, rest, sleep and more rest.  Surely by Monday, I would be needing less sleep and rest. It’s not to be.

Monday and Tuesday, more of the same.  Today, each 30 minutes of activity, doesn’t matter what it is.  Showering, thirty minutes of rest.  Dressing, 30 minutes of rest.  Cooking breakfast, eating, 30minutes of rest. All day, it’s the same and it’s different.

This time, the self-talk affirms the need for sleep and rest.  “Listen, you’re tired, rest.  It’s time to sit down.  Try getting up now.”  The judgement is gone.  The questions about my work ethic are gone.  This is where I am, and I accept it. This phase will last as long as it last.  There aren’t any time limit expectations.

This is a humbling experience, and I accept it with humility.  I am both strong and weak and I accept it. I am both active and exhausted.  I am living with this paradox, seemingly opposites co-exist.  Accepting their co-existence opens the door for discovering wholeness in the midst of healing.